Oh Dear God

Have you ever been around someone who did the painfully-in-love thing?  Pining after some idiot who not only didn't love back, but was completely oblivious to the interest?  The kind of thing where the person with the love interest spends a lot of time analyzing every detail of every interaction they've had with their beloved, in that "But s/he gave me a lollipop, because s/he knows I like lollipops, do you think that means s/he really likes me after all" sort of way, getting sloppy drunk and crying while their friends sit there in silent discomfort, wanting to help and yet feeling embarrassed that anyone over the age of 14 could be this lost to reason and sanity, spending a lot of time doing stupid stuff (obsessively reading their blog, only dressing in the colors they like, making meals they'd like even when they won't be eating them and the lover doesn't like whatever it is...the possibilities are endless) just because it gets them a teeny bit closer to the beloved?¹

I feel like one of those awkward friends every time I hear that stupid Taylor Swift song.  It's the one that's all about how she's so in love with some guy, even though he has a girlfriend, that she has to "put his picture down" (because what's a good obsession without an 8x10 color glossy picture²?) to be able to sleep without him.  "Tears on my Guitar" is the title, I think, and it makes me squirm every damn time I hear it, because if it's not actually autobiographical Swift needs to track down every man named "Drew" she's ever met and apologize for the misapprehension.  It sure sounds like it's drawn from personal experience, in much the same way Billy Joel's "The Entertainer" does, and that means there's some guy Swift knows who she's got a secret lust after and who now knows it³ because she wrote a frigging song.  Awkward.  Even if she changed the names, it's probably not too tough to work it out if you know the dynamics of her social circle.

In the meantime, I personally will be perfectly happy if they just stop playing the thing so much.  Because I don't like being the one sitting there muttering, "Don't worry, sweetie, he doesn't know what he's missing" and wishing desperately to be in Tierra del Fuego while I pat her on the back and try to grab the bottle of schnapps.

1: I can say this because I have been this person.  To all of you who dealt with me: Sorry, I'm better now. 

2: One hesitates to contemplate the circles-and-arrows possibilities here. 

3: If he didn't before; these things are rarely as secret as the sufferers would like to believe. 

links: digg this    del.icio.us    technorati    reddit